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No-Bake Chocolate Biscuit Cake

Equipment Needed

  • 9-inch springform pan or loaf pan
  • Large mixing bowl
  • Saucepan (medium)
  • Spatula
  • Measuring cups and spoons
  • Rolling pin or food processor (for crushing biscuits)
  • Plastic wrap or parchment paper

Step-by-Step Instructions

My process always starts with the biscuits. I place them in a large zip-top bag, seal it tightly, and take out any lingering stress with a rolling pin. You want a mix of textures—mostly fine crumbs, but with plenty of pea-sized chunks for that wonderful cakey bite. I tried using a food processor once, and it pulverized them too much for my liking. The chunks are non-negotiable for texture! As the crumbs settle in my big bowl, I melt the butter, chocolate, and golden syrup together in a saucepan over the lowest possible heat. I stand right there, stirring almost constantly. Chocolate can seize in a heartbeat, and I learned the hard way that rushing this step leads to a grainy mixture. The moment it becomes a single, glossy, fragrant pool, I pull it off the heat and stir in the vanilla and salt.

Now for the magic moment that never gets old. I pour that luscious chocolate mixture over the mountain of biscuit crumbs. Using my spatula, I fold and press, fold and press, until every single crumb is gleaming and coated. It’s thick, it’s sticky, and it smells divine. If I’m adding nuts or fruit, this is when they go in. I line my pan with a sling of parchment paper—a lesson from a prior struggle where I almost couldn’t get the cake out!—and dump the whole mixture in.

Patience is key here. I use the back of a spoon, then my fingers (lightly buttered to prevent sticking), to press the mixture firmly and evenly into every corner of the pan. You really want to compact it; a loose press means a crumbly slice later. I smooth the top as best I can, then it’s off to the fridge. The waiting begins. I used to check after an hour, but it was always too soft. Now I know it needs a solid three to four hours, ideally overnight, to truly set its structure and develop its flavor fully.(See the next page below to continue…)

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