Equipment Needed
- 8×8 inch square baking pan
- Parchment paper
- Food processor or large zip-top bag and rolling pin
- Stand mixer or hand mixer
- Large mixing bowl
- Medium mixing bowl
- Rubber spatula
- Measuring cups and spoons
Step-by-Step Instructions
First, we conquer the crust. Line your 8×8 pan with parchment paper, leaving an overhang on two sides—this is your lifeline for easy removal later. I’ve tried just buttering the pan, and it’s a nightmare. The parchment is a non-negotiable step. Toss all 24 Oreos (yes, the whole cookies, cream and all) into your food processor and pulse into fine, even crumbs. If you’re using the bag-and-rolling-pin method, channel any frustration into it—you want uniform crumbs. Pour in the melted butter and pulse or mix until it resembles wet sand. Press this firmly and evenly into your prepared pan. I use the bottom of a measuring cup to really tamp it down; a loose crust will fall apart when you cut the bars. Pop this in the oven at 325°F (165°C) for 10 minutes. You’ll smell it—that warm, toasty chocolate aroma. Let it cool slightly while you make the filling.
Now, for the heart of the matter: the cheesecake filling. In your mixer bowl, beat the softened cream cheese on medium-low speed until it’s completely smooth and creamy, about 2 minutes. Scrape down the bowl! This is crucial. I’ve rushed this step and ended up with tiny lumps of cream cheese in my baked bars—not the end of the world, but not ideal. Gradually add the sugar and beat until just combined. Then, add the eggs one at a time, beating on low after each addition until only just incorporated. Over-beating the eggs incorporates too much air, which leads to puffing and then dramatic falling (and cracking).
Here’s where we add the flavor boosters. Beat in the vanilla extract, sour cream, and that pinch of salt on low speed. The sour cream is my secret weapon—it adds a subtle tang and incredible creaminess. The salt isn’t for taste; it’s a flavor enhancer that makes the chocolate and cheesecake sing. Once the batter is velvety smooth, take it off the mixer. Grab your rubber spatula and fold in the roughly chopped Oreo pieces. I like big chunks for pockets of cookie surprise. Pour this glorious batter over your slightly cooled crust and smooth the top.
Baking is the test of patience. Place the pan in your preheated 325°F oven. I set my timer for 35 minutes. The edges should look set, but the center—a circle about the size of a lemon—should still have a pronounced, gentle jiggle, like Jell-O. It will not look done. This is the hardest part, but you must trust the process. Turn off the oven, crack the door open with a wooden spoon, and let the bars cool in the oven for one hour. This gradual cooling is the cheat code to prevent cracks and ensure a dreamy texture. Then, let it cool completely on the counter before the final, agonizing wait: at least 4 hours in the fridge, though overnight is truly best.(See the next page below to continue…)